Saturday, January 21, 2017

Unsuccessful

Where to begin? It has been SO long since I've written anything on this blog! But writing is therapeutic for me so I'm going to dust of the old 17th Century Swag and post on here more often, hopefully.

I've been thinking a lot about success, and along with that, unsuccess. Technically, I know that's failure but that just seems a little harsh.

My thoughts on unsuccess began a few weeks ago at the start of the new year. I feel like the New Year always comes when I need it (though I do wish there were a few more "new years" sprinkled throughout the calendar year) and adds a few logs to my little fire of motivation.

This year's new year was especially needed as I navigated the feelings that come from miscarriage. A couple of months ago we thought we would be the parents of another darling, hairy baby this year! Everything was going so well, and so on schedule -- perfectly according to our plans!

In the end, the pregnancy was termed "unsuccesful" and suddenly I went from being pregnant, to unpregnant. Not exactly what I had in mind at the time.

Now that a couple of months have passed, as much as I disliked that experience I can honestly say I'm grateful that it happened. I don't know if I can, or should, share the beautiful feelings I have had along with the tears that inevitably come when plans that seem so perfect must change.

I feel hopeful, I feel strong, and I feel more confident in myself than I have in a long, long time.

Isn't it interesting how God can take our bitter experiences and give us something so sweet in return?

That makes me thing differently about success, because unsuccess can bring us happy endings too. Maybe not what we pictured, but still happy.

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